Girl and the Sea

It's been awhile...

2010-04-28T11:39:00.000-04:00

This was so amazing/thought-provoking/angering that it's brought me back to blogging:

I love her. She remains cool and mature under some pretty ridiculous heat. In the words of my friend Brandy: "She rocks it."

Little Things...

2009-07-06T09:35:00.004-04:00

I think the reason I've become bad at blogging is because I think I need to sit down and write a huge long update every time I blog. And since I don't always have the time or inspiration to do that, I end up not writing at all. So instead I'm going to try and blog some short entries, just a few thoughts each day.
Just like Martha Stewart, it's often the little things that make my day.
Here are some little things I've been enjoying lately:

This Young House blog is the life and design of a super cute couple John and Sherry. They share design tips and secrets from their own house and also give advice and make inspiration boards for reader submissions. I've already gotten so many ideas for our new place from this blog, whether it be furniture arrangement or color schemes. I love how they blend modern style with classic, clean design. Check them out!

Pacing the Panic Room is a husband's account of his wife's second pregnancy. For 39 weeks Ryan documents the baby's growth through super cute, creative pictures and a little note on how the pregnancy is progressing. You can skim through just the photos or read the whole blog for the entire story. His wife, Nicole, is so photogenic and stylish even when it's obvious she's uncomfortably pregnant. Though the pregnancy photo series is over (baby Tessa was born on June 29, 2009!), Ryan has already added a week 40 photo of mama and baby. He blogs that he is not sure if he will continue the series now that their baby is here, but I sure hope he does! I am so inspired by the beauty of the whole thing: of Ryan's obvious adoration for his wife and family, for Cole's glow and quirky smiles as she looks at her pregnant belly, by the care that this couple has taken to document this time in their lives; it's all so beautiful!

Ok, that's all for now. Be ready for more (but little) updates!

Summertime

2009-05-20T10:15:00.019-04:00

I know, I'm bad at this blogging thing. But, I'm going to get better, I promise! It's funny because during an average day I think of like 3 things I want to blog about. It's all about getting it down on paper (well, webpage, but you know what I mean). Comment a lot friends, so I'll stay inspired :)

Yesterday Travis and I pulled the first big harvest from our garden. We've been using herbs, but those grow so fast, I don't count them.

Here's a starting photo of the romaine lettuce:

Here's the start of the whole garden (from St. Francis' perspective):

And here's the bounty!!!

And that's only like 1/10th of it!!!!!!! Woo-hoo!!!

While we're on the picture train, here's a sneak peek of our new house:

It's such a secret garden house:

Especially the back yard:

It has a mudroom!!!

Awesome HUGE front room:

We had the inspection yesterday and everything seemed to go pretty well. Sure, there are things that need to be fixed, but nothing that's a deal-breaker. Yay! New house, here we come! We close on June 15th, so cross your fingers that everything goes smoothly between now and then.

Lesson of the day: we're officially old. Growing vegetables and buying a house? Yep, O-L-D.
(I secretly, or not-so-secretly, like it)

A confession...or a couple

2009-02-19T14:58:00.003-05:00

1. When I came to divinity school I was not familiar with the word "theodicy," which deals with the issue of evil in a God-created world. When people would bring it up in class, I thought they were saying "The Odyssey," as in the ancient poem by Homer. Needless to say, I was confused about why we were talking about this in seminary. Even now, knowing what it means, when someone says this word I am still confused for a split second.

2. I can name many of the capitals of central and South America. This is due to a song I learned in high school. I never took Spanish, but the kids who did got to listen to a catchy song that taught them most of the capitals of Spanish-speaking countries. Us French kids were jealous and wanted to listen to it too. Our teacher said no. My friend Chip and I would surreptitiously take the tape player to the back of the class and secretly listen to it during class. Our teacher would look around and ask "Who's singing?" But we never got caught and this information aids me today because I can answer many geography questions on Jeopardy.

AHHH I'm back!

2009-02-16T14:06:00.004-05:00

Friends, it's been awhile.
To catch you up, here are a few of my favorite things from the past few months:

Mr. Miles

Mr. Carver

Yes, after 3 months of not blogging, 2 of my friends have had babies!!! Miles belongs to Will and Chelsea, our friends in Durham. Carver belongs to Val and Ethan who live in Gainesville, FL. I'm sad because I haven't gotten to meet Carver yet, but I feel so lucky to get to snuggle Miles at least once a week. (I steal him at small group all the time.)
Of course, this leads you to ask: "Doesn't this make you want to have babies, Amy?" Well, yes and no. Holding Miles and looking at his perfectness and smelling his sweet baby smell definitely make me want a baby ASAP. Then I'll have a crazy busy week and can barely get myself fed and clothed and I think "Ok, not time yet!"
Just because I know it's not time doesn't make me want one any less though. It just makes me really excited thinking about when it'll be our turn and reminds me to soak up all the baby knowledge and advice I can. It's great to watch friends go through experiences and be able to take notes. Especially when those friends are really great parents and people in general. (Will/Chels, Andy/Anita, Val/Ethan, this means YOU!)
Thanks for being such great teachers guys!

The guy in the coffee shop thinks I'm crazy

2008-11-05T10:13:00.005-05:00

Maybe it's because when he asked me how I was doing, I said: "Excited!!" I don't know if he was too, or just humoring me. I'm going to be honest; this morning felt a little like Christmas. I have plenty of things to say, I'm just not sure how to put them into coherent sentences. Check out my husband, Travis', thoughts on the election/Obama presidency here. He expresses many of my thoughts in a much more eloquent way than I am capable of at this time. I blame grad school on draining all of my creative juices.

Speaking of school, that's where I am now (or ALWAYS). Wednesdays are my long day. I get here around 8 am and my last class gets out at 5 pm. I realize this is a the length of a normal work day for most people, but when you're used to working independently, at your own pace on things, this long stretch is difficult. At least it is for me. I'd much rather be at school for 9 hours if it could be spent writing, reading or studying. Sitting in classes all day can be draining. I have a break (now), which is nice. I usually spend it with several of my friends, but today everyone is MIA. Thus leaves Amy, sipping coffee and trying to be studious and productive.

I need desperately to be productive because I'll be gone all weekend. I'm going home from Friday til Monday. Woo!!! I'm super excited to see friends and family, but also because I'll get to go to my friend Valerie's baby shower! I feel like I've missed out on a lot of big things in my friends' lives (engagements, weddings, pregnancies) in FL because we've been up here. It's so hard to be engaged in life here and keep an ear and eye on things at home. I talk to my family every week and still get a twinge of jealousy sometimes when they talk about things they did together. Most of my friends are spread out over the state, but at least they're still in Fl; they can visit more often and come home for big events and such. All this has lead me to realize I probably want us to end up in FL when we settle down. Not that I expect that to be anytime soon. I still have 2.5 years of school left and then we'll probably move wherever Travis wants to go to school/where I can get a job.

Settling down for me essentially means babies and career-focused jobs and buying a house. Most days I'm content to know that these things are a few years off. However, lately I've totally been feeling the maternal nudge. It most likely has to do with the fact that several of my friends are pregnant or have babies. I've known from a fairly young age that I was supposed to be a mom. Now that it's just a matter of time (hopefully), I'm getting impatient. Not that I feel particularly ready to be a mom.....but who does?

Now, don't all of you go out and buy baby clothes. I'm just saying that I'm excited. And maybe that I'll be ready sooner than I thought...

Ah democracy

2008-11-04T09:39:00.003-05:00

It's not even 10 am on election day and I already feel like my blood pressure has shot up 10 pts. And I've been purposely avoiding watching/reading the news. That's a lie, I did watch Obama cast his vote. Which took like 15 minutes and is surely not an encouragement to those people who think they can vote on their lunch hour or something. Not that democracy should always be convenient, but still...

While perusing my favorite sites this morning, I did come across this: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/11/as-i-wreck-elect.html

Nothing screams "president" like baked goods.

I'm sure this won't be my last post today. Too much nervous energy makes Amy a good blogger, I guess.

GO VOTE!

I like watching Travis laugh

2008-10-19T21:47:00.004-04:00

This update isn't just for Chelsea. But mostly.

I'm supposed to be writing a paper (I know, surprise, surprise) but instead I'm snuggling with Margot and watching Travis watch Conan O'Brien on DVR. When I say I'm watching Travis, don't think I'm creepy; I am purposefully not facing the TV so that I'll write and not watch it, but obviously it's not working too well.

This past week was Fall Break (ahem, I mean Reading Week). I did so much reading.....of my tween-vampire-romance novel. Which is totally my guilty pleasure these days. Speaking of guilty pleasures, I was having a discussion about guilty pleasure music with some of my friends/classmates the other day and needless to say, it is clear that people have differing views of what constitutes guilty pleasure music.
Here's my definition:
1)Guilty pleasure music is music you would not mention when someone asked: "Who do you listen to?"
2) You are embarrassed (at least a little)/or find the need to explain yourself if someone finds said music on your Itunes/Ipod/in your car
3) Includes: showtunes, rap, slow jams, honky-tonk country, cheesy 80s rock, Weird Al Yankovic, Celine Dion.....the list goes on.
4) For me includes: old school Christian catchy songs, the soundtrack to "Legally Blond: The Musical," "Dirty Dancing" and "The Big Chill," and 90s rap/slow jams....oh and maybe Eminem.

What's your guilty pleasure music???

oh and NO I will not answer any queries about above choice music...

plaster in the living room and coffee in my hand

2008-09-09T09:28:00.002-04:00

I don't know why I do it, but I like to watch shows like The Hills and Dr. 90210. After watching them I always feel worse about the state of humanity and also like I need to have nice clothes. I know those two things don't mesh, but that's what happens. One good thing about watching these shows is that I totally know what Joel McHale is talking about when he makes fun of them on The Soup (which I obviously also watch).

Of course, I only watch these shows without Travis. Needless to say, they're not his favorite. It's pretty funny because the shows that stay on our DVR the longest are our individual guilty pleasures. For me that means reality shows, specifically anything on TLC, MTV or Discovery Health. For him, it's cartoons (Batman, Futurama, etc). Anything else we record we pretty much agree on and watch together. I think it's a nice use of the DVR technology: everybody wins.

I FINALLY bought the latest Death Cab for Cutie album (Narrow Stairs) and am looking forward to listening that on my walk from my car to school today. People at the div school probably think I'm rude/aloof cause I definitely walk right into school, to check my mailbox, and to class, all with my headphones on. I just like to stay in my own little world for as long as I can. Good music sets my tone for the day, and I like to stay wrapped up in that.

Chris Hohmann (the meteorologist on our local ABC news that looks like he has no teeth) tells me that there is a cold, rainy front coming through. Good; I'm ready for fall. Not rain particularly, but if rain equals cooler weather, count me in

I belong...anywhere but in between

2008-08-27T11:37:00.002-04:00

First week of classes! Woo?
No, it's been good so far. The first week back to school is hard no matter what. You're not used to your schedule. You're not used to waking up early. You're not used to the babies in your classes that sit where you like to sit. Oh, I sound like such an old woman, so stuck in my ways. But seriously, move elsewhere kiddies. I put in my time.

It's been raining for 2 days and the weatherman tells me that it will continue for 3 more. Ugh. This morning was the ultimate you-should-stay-in-bed morning. Even Margot was hesitant to get up. That tells you something.

Back to school. So I've switched my classes around approximately 82356937856 times. I think I've finally secured my schedule. My first change happened because I decided I didn't want to continue on the Methodist track. That meant that I didn't have to take 3 (out of 4) classes that I was scheduled to. I ended up only switching 2. Then I switched yet another. My class schedule now consists of: Christian Theology (required), The Missional Church and Evangelism, Prophetic Ministries: Shaping Communities of Justice, and Pastoral Care and Women's Bodies. I just added the last one and am pretty excited about it. This also means that I am like one class away from the Gender, Theology and Ministry certificate. Aka it would be dumb NOT to get it.

Sometime last week (in the middle of helping with first year orientation), I realized that I was already pretty busy and classes hadn't even started yet. This year will be busy, but also fulfilling and probably less jarring than last year. I'm involved in a lot (Basin and Towel-Div School Service Club, Axe of the Apostles- improv comedy group, church small group, more things with church) and the list goes on. Oh, and I'd like to have quality time with the hubby and have a social life.

ok more later

Fish on the go

2008-07-22T16:38:00.004-04:00

If you wonder where I've been this summer, this about sums it up:

No, not inside this thing; just in rural North Carolina where these are a common sight.

More updates to come.

Nein doggen

2008-07-22T14:48:00.002-04:00

I think this about sums up how my scottie dog feels about me:

Hopefully, others are more impressed by my existence than Margot...

What Wonderful Stones

2008-07-07T21:14:00.000-04:00

It started with a searing pain right under my ribs. Needless to say, two days and one 9 hour ER trip later, it was confirmed: I had gallstones. First off, I have to say that I felt like an old woman. I mean, who gets gallstones at 24? Apparently, I do. As scary as surgery sounded, being full of stones sounded even worse. After a short surgery and about a week of recovery, I was as good as new. Minus one gallbladder. I was excited to get back to work at the churches and especially excited about Wednesdays.

Last Wednesday’s lunch started off pretty much the same as usual. We helped unload the tables and tents from the pickup truck and set up the camping chairs. The food soon arrived and as we circled up to pray, we could feel the eyes of the passing drivers upon us. This was a typical lunch at Open Table, a ministry of the Rougemont charge that serves the homeless men and women of Durham. Every Wednesday around noon, about 15-20 men and women, homeless and not, gather for a meal and fellowship on the side of Highway 15-501 in New Hope Commons. Like I said, last Wednesday seemed fairly unremarkable; that is, until she showed up. She was with Francine, a woman who had not been to Open Table in awhile, but had been a regular in former days. Her black hair was matted and everyone was warned not to touch her, as she had just received topical medication. Before you think I’m being cruel, I must mention that this she is a dog. Her name slips my mind now and I’m not surprised because her name was mightily overshadowed by her larger-than-life personality. For the sake of the narrative, I’ll call her Roxy. She scurried from person to person at lunch, wagging her fluffy tail, her bright brown eyes pleading for a scrap of food. When it became clear that she was not going to have any success, she strolled away to entertain herself. Around this time, I stood up to pour myself some more sweet tea and noticed that Roxy had found a good size rock and was busying herself by chewing on it. Several other people noticed this and we all laughed. Her owners shook their heads and said, “Yep, that’s Roxy. But don’t you dare touch her rock. She’s quite protective.” To prove this point, one of the men went over to her and tried to steal her rock away. Roxy growled and covered the rock with her paws. As soon as he backed away, she continued to play with the rock, chewing it and more impressively, rolling it around with her nose. Roxy later proved her attachment and fondness for the rock by fetching it when thrown and rolling it over 25 feet to her waiting owner. Let me remind you that this rock probably weighed no less than 20 lbs. This was a dedicated dog, I thought.

That night, I told my husband about the crazy dog who had come to lunch. As I was telling the story, it occurred to me that this dog was a shining example of simplicity and joy in a world often oversaturated with consumption and materialism. No, I’m not going to try to make any theological stretches about the dog’s actions. Merely, watching Roxy that day made me realize her contentedness with her stone. She had no want for fancy dog toys or gourmet dog food. What she did know was loyalty and the simple joys of life.

The next day, my pastor Doug, Rett and I spent the afternoon doing visitations. One of the places we went was the Extended Care Unit at Person Memorial Hospital. We had tried to visit some parishioners here several times before, but had never had any luck. This day, we did. We found most of the Extended Care residents gathered outside on the patio. We found out that a musician was coming that afternoon to perform, so we sat and talked while we awaited her arrival. The musician, Mrs. Clayton arrived, teal guitar in hand and spent about a half hour or so playing a variety of folksy, soulful songs. After awhile she sat back and announced that she would be playing her last song, a request from her husband. She strummed a few chords, closed her eyes and then crooned out a fabulous version of Bob Seger’s “Like a Rock.” For many people, this song has been forever ruined by the Chevy commercials, but this song is really a wonderful tune. As she sang, the lyrics told their sweet, sad story:

“Stood there boldly
Sweatin in the sun
Felt like a million
Felt like number one
The height of summer
I’d never felt that strong
Like a rock”

Any other summer of my youth, these lyrics could have been my anthem. But this summer, I’ve experienced my first taste of disease and hospitals, homelessness and hunger, inadequacy and fear. Instead of the sure, confident person I have always thought myself to be, I have often found my mind full of doubts, my prayers filled with petitions to God for strength and a steady hand and heart. The stones in my road and been both frighteningly literal and cosmically figurative.

As I thought about my “rocky” week (forgive the pun), I kept coming back to the passage in Mark 12-13. This is the section that tells of Jesus and his disciples coming to Jerusalem for Passover and seeing the Temple. At one point, a disciple turns to Jesus and says, “"Teacher, behold what wonderful stones!” And I’m sure they were! The Temple must have been an amazing sight with towering its slabs of polished marble. What’s even more amazing is Jesus’ response to the disciple. He says, “Do you see these wonderful stones? Not one stone will be left here upon another; all will be thrown down.” Of course, here Jesus is prophesizing the ruin of the Temple, but He’s also speaking of where we should vest our power.

My stones, some painful, some humorous, some shiny and polished with pride, will all eventually be knocked down. Christ as my cornerstone is the only way to build.

Rural musings

2008-06-13T11:07:00.009-04:00

I haven't posted in a loooooooooooong time; here's an update in the form of the paper that I wrote for my first Field Ed reflection paper:

I didn’t know what to expect, so I wore pearls. Classy, timeless, non-intimidating and uber-feminine. My greatest fear was of being “that girl.” I had heard that a former intern at the charge had worn a too-short skirt and had thus been asked to wear a robe when leading worship for the rest of the summer. There was no way I was going to suffer that embarrassment. I adjusted my knee-length skirt in the mirror, clasped my pearl necklace, and slipped my feet into my not-too-trendy, not-too-stodgy, medium height heels. There. Non-threatening, no cleavage and not too much leg. They should love me.
We drove down 15-501, unsure of where Durham actually stopped and bucolic proper began. It wasn’t hard to tell. The gas stations and food marts were quickly replaced with silos and barns right out of a Winslow Homer painting. It was beautiful: sweeping pastures, clear-as-glass ponds and white picket fences as far as you could see. I took it all in: packs of horses grazing, tobacco and soybeans planted in neat rows and even a group of farm animals gathered as if reenacting a scene from Orwell. And then I wondered: what in the world would it be like to live out here? Where’s the Target? Where do you get good coffee? How far do you have to drive to see your friends? It’s not that I disapproved of this life; it was just so stinking unfamiliar.
We turned into the gravel road that led to Union Grove United Methodist Church and I soon saw the appeal of this tiny, white church. It was set back from the road in a grove of trees that shaded it from the already harsh morning sun. When we got out of the car, the sweet smell of grass greeted us and a soft wind blew by. It was picturesque, serene and holy.
My first service at the charge took place at Union Grove that morning. I helped to lead worship in front of a congregation of about 8. Still, with such a small crowd, I stumbled over my words, rushed through the Scripture reading and sang all of the hymns completely out of tune. When it was time to stand and sing something that the bulletin called the “Gloria”, I looked at my husband in nervous uneasiness. What the heck was this? I know I’m not a super-Methodist by any means, but I thought I was pretty well versed. I knew the doxology and had a good hold on many common hymns; I even knew most of the Great Thanksgiving liturgy! So, I turned toward the cross (thankfully, away from the congregation) and moved my lips like I knew what was going on. Luckily, the service ended fairly smoothly and with no other major mishaps. After the service, we met the congregation. Everyone was welcoming and wonderful. I didn’t ask, but I think they approved of my skirt length and no one mentioned the sweat that formed on my forehead during the service.
We continued on to the 11:00 service at Rougemont UMC. By most standard, Rougemont is a small church, but compared to Union Grove, it is massive. My co-intern Rett helped lead worship at this service and I (quite content to be out of the spotlight for now) sat with my husband and observed the people and the feel of the church.
That first Sunday at Rougemont also marked my first church homecoming. Maybe I’m not as good of a Methodist as I thought, because I had no idea what comprised a church “homecoming.” In my mind, homecoming was relegated to high school and college realms and included things like pep rallies, football games and dances. At Rougemont, homecoming meant one thing: food.
As we gathered in the fellowship hall, it was clear that everyone had been planning and baking for a good part of the week. The long, checkered-table clothed tables were lined with casseroles, salads both fruit and otherwise, several choices of deviled eggs and at least four varieties of ham. I repeat, four varieties of ham. It took me awhile to get over that. I thought of ham as more of a sometimes food. But to the people of Rougemont, ham equals celebration.
As you might be able to guess, my first weeks at the Rougemont charge have not always been easy. I am not familiar with rural living, with the twang of southern accents, or the style of worship they enjoy. Too often, I have found myself criticizing one aspect of how they “do church” only to be quickly humbled by the obvious and tangible presence of Christ in their fellowship and care of one another.
Since that first Sunday, I have experienced 2 other homecoming lunches, learned to see the perks of country living, and am much improved on my singing of the Gloria. I have stopped stressing about wearing the perfect outfit or making the best impression. Most importantly, I have received the great gifts of hospitality and grace from all of the congregations as they help me navigate the tricky, but fulfilling course that it my first field ed placement. They have supported me through a surprise illness and surgery, written me letters of encouragement and opened their homes and lives to me. I may not yet completely understand rural life and ministry, I may never understand the need for four different types of ham at one lunch, but I am already forever grateful for the love and care of my country family.

Home

2008-02-04T22:31:00.000-05:00

Don't hate me; I'm slow at this blogging thing.
I know, it's already February and I promised updates a looooong time ago. Sorry, friends.
Now I pretty much forget most of the details of Christmas break except that it was relaxing and fun and so so needed. I appreciated being home more than I ever thought I would. Not that I didn't expect to miss home/family/friends, but I didn't expect to find such a sense of contentment the entire break. It was as if I could finally take a deep breath and unwind.

Travis and I celebrated our one-year anniversary in FL over the break. We went out to my parents' beach place on Indian Rocks and went out for an expensive dinner and such; we had decided back in November not to exchange Christmas gifts, just anniversary ones, since they're so close. Trav got me the watch I mentioned in an earlier post and I got him a bass amp so that he can practice at home.
We did kinda break our "no Christmas presents" rule as we bought a Wii right before Thanksgiving. Honestly, it's been one of the best presents ever because it's something we both like and it's an activity rather than a thing. We have a big picture window in our living room in Durham and I like to keep the blinds up during the day to let the natural light in. I bet our neighbors think we're crazy cause you can definitely see us standing in our living room playing Wii golf or tennis on many an occasion.

Speaking of, life in Durham is, well, life. I feel like we've settled into the rhythm of life here; of the weekdays and weekends and what we do on holidays and our favorite restaurants and stores and etc. It sounds silly, but it's a sort of comfort to know that you have a regular doctor or mechanic or favorite breakfast place (Elmo's) or coffeeshop (Broad Street Cafe) or dog groomer or even where the nearest Starbuck's is (pretty far, actually). I actually know my way around school now. I can ride the bus and not have to pay attention to every stop. I have been to Duke's bookstore, gym, clinic, chapel, library(ies), and more. As exciting as new is, settled can also be a welcomed change. We're not Durham, or North Carolina experts, not by far. We've still got plenty of exploring and learning to do. We still get lost when we drive somewhere new and are (somehow) still finding more and more fabulous local eateries, but all in all, I feel a sense of greater peace than I have in at least six months.

It's good to go home, good to come home, and good to be home, even if that means home is in 2 different places.

Don't worry, but

2008-01-10T22:52:00.000-05:00

I had an existential breakdown today. I'm just telling you because I'm honest with my blog; we're friends. My scottie dog and my husband helped me work through it. I'll update more later. Existential crises are tiring.

The Goods

2008-01-05T21:39:00.000-05:00

Note: this is my strictly materialistic holiday break update. It's about the goods, the gadgets and the clothes. If this doesn't interest you, rest assured, I will update soon about the more important (i.e. family, friends, Jesus) aspects of the break. With that said, here's what I scored this year...

1. iRobot Roomba 540.

I mentioned this to my mom as more of a dream gift; not something I thought they'd actually get us. Needless to say, I was ecstatic when we opened it. Travis was excited because it's a robot. I was excited because it's a house-cleaning robot.
We tried it out a couple of days ago and it's AMAZING! It comes with little "lighthouses" that you can set up so that the Roomba stays in a certain area. Sure, it takes longer to vacuum a room than I would, but the point is that I'm not doing the cleaning. And that is awesome.

2. Good fleece jacket. I knew I was probably going to get this, so I was pretty dang specific. Somehow, I still had to exchange it. Parents mean so well, though, don't they?

3. Swiss Army watch.
Actually, this was an anniversary present from Travis, but it still counts as a holiday present. I used to have one of these in high school and lost it several years ago. I think it's such a classic, go-anywhere watch. Obviously, I love it.

4. Tiffany ring.

In the middle of opening presents, my dad went into his office and came out with two Tiffany bags. He gave one to me and one to my sister and said, "Here's just a little something." My sister and I looked at one another and said in unison: "Nothing from Tiffany is 'a little something'." We each got one of these Somerset silver rings. I love, love, LOVE it. It means so much to me that my dad still thinks of (and likes to spoil) his little girls. Also, I love that Monica has the same one. I'm a sucker for mushy, sentimental stuff like that.

5. Cute gray sweater. It's soft, from Nordstrom and fits great. Thanks, sister.

6. Fun, ridiculous book.
It's called The Daring Book for Girls and Travis' brother, Kevin got it for me. It's full of fun facts and how-to advice for girls, like how to tie knots and put up your hair with just a pencil. I immediately read most of it, but it's one of those books you can pick up and find something new everytime. Travis got the guy version, The Dangerous Book for Boys.

I think that's about it. Okay, off to play with my new toys :)

For now

2008-01-03T21:29:00.000-05:00

I'm going to do a more thorough update soon, but for now I want to write about something from today. Let me preface by saying that I don't ever, ever, EVER take horoscopes seriously; sometimes I like to read them for kicks, though. Today, while perusing Durham's local arts/music/culture newspaper, the Pisces horoscope started with this William Blake quote: "I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's." The horoscope writer went on to say that this meant that we should have a disciplined approach to living the life we want to live, so that we avoid being controlled by the world's or another person's life plan. While the horoscope prescribed a more self-directed, you-against-the-world outlook, I think there's much for the Christian to gain from the Blake quote and the horoscope writer's train of thought. No, we shouldn't aim to create a system, but if we fail to participate, live, and enter in to life with Christ and in the body, we will surely be enslaved by another system.

Sometimes God finds my eye when I least expect it.

I'm very tough.

2007-11-19T19:07:00.001-05:00

On Friday, I gave blood! This is a big deal, considering the last time I tried to, I passed out. My friend Cassie was nice enough to come with me and distract me. I was all fine and dandy at first, made it through the medical history and screening without freaking out; the nurse found my vein (not too hard, cause I'm pretty pale) and started. I was good for a few minutes and trying to talk to keep my mind off of the bright red blood coming out of my body. All of a sudden, Cassie was like "Um...you don't look so good. Are you ok?" I answered, "I feel a little lightheaded." No sooner had those words passed my lips and the nurse was at my side, ice pack in hand. In a matter of seconds, her and another nurse had put my feet up higher, put an ice pack on my neck, gotten me a Sprite to sip and started fanning me. I immediately felt better. The second nurse that had come to fan me was a ridiculously funny black man and he talked to me and made me laugh until I was done. Then I got to eat Little Debbie snacks and was ordered to eat at least 2 more hearty meals that day (it was already 2pm). Sorry Weight Watchers. I happily accepted this order.
They gave me an awesome lunchbox and a bright green bandage to show how tough I am.

Adventures in swelling

2007-11-14T09:20:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, Travis and I went out to dinner.

This is me at the beginning of the night. I'm modeling the jacket my sister sent me.

This is me about 2 hours later after dinner. I had a
Thai chicken wrap and my lips swelled up.

It was really attractive.

We were supposed to go to the movies. Instead we had to come home and I was sad.

Mind you, Thai is my favorite; I've never had an allergic reaction to anything I've eaten, either Thai or not. Now I'm scared to eat anything Thai-ish. Boooooo.

$$$ and teeth and injustice

2007-10-23T14:25:00.001-04:00

Sometimes life isn't necessarily hard, it's just not fun. Yesterday I went to the dentist yet again because I still have just a screw in my jaw (I'm supposed to have a crown put on top of it). This is the 3rd time I've been to this dentist. It seems like every time I go, there's another problem. This time he hadn't got in touch with my dentist in Orlando, so he couldn't proceed. Since I was already there (and since I hadn't had a cleaning in like over a year), he squeezed me in for x-rays and a cleaning. I don't know if that was such a good idea. He found like 3 cavities! I don't get it! I brush and floss as much as anyone else (ahem, Travis) and yet I still get cavities. I know it can have alot to do with genetics, but STILL. Ew. I don't mind getting the fillings done, per se, they're just so freaking expensive.

So I get home from the not-fun-dentist and try to pay some bills. I had to make a call to fix something with one of our bills and I ended up on hold for over 45 minutes. No thanks. By the time Travis got home, I was so frustrated. He's so good at letting me vent and then calming me down. I usually need some time to just be mad; only after that time can I look at the situation rationally (well, relatively) and move forward. All this on Monday. Mondays are supposed to be relaxing.

Life isn't bad or even very hard. School can be stressful and having no money is definitely a difficult place, but overall everything is really good. It just seems like there's not enough time in the day for crap and menial stuff AND fun and productivity and sanity. And guess what gets taken out of the picture first? That's right, cookies, TV watching and reading gossip magazines. A.k.a. my sanity.

In my spiritual formation group (small group "class" that all 1st year div students take) this morning we were talking about discernment. And by "talking about", I mean our leader Shane (serious black man) talks and we stare tiredly at the ground or nod when he looks at us. But anyways, this morning was a little more casual and we were actually talking about situations that require discernment. Recently in Rocky Mount (a small town near Durham) two women were attacked in the kitchen of their church while preparing food for Meals on Wheels. One was killed when the man slit her throat. The other is still in ICU. There is a lady in my group who pastors a church near Rocky Mount and she was talking about how alot of people in her church are having a knee-jerk reaction to the attack; they want to lock up the food pantry and basically have church behind bolted doors. How do we respond in this situation? Should we ask the church to put themselves in danger to do God's work?

My simple answer is: yes. Now, I'm not claiming that we should purposely put ourselves in harm's way. What I'm saying is that fear is paralyzing. If we are unable to act, to serve, to love, because we fear harm, then we're letting violence have the last word. We're saying that we are subordinate to the evil in the world and act (or don't act) because of the actions of other, ill-willed people. Redemption is happening all over the world, in a million ways. If we don't open ourselves to be vehicles of redemption and reconciliation, how will God move? How will the church remain alive?

This takes courage that is beyond our own. It requires reliance on greater Grace than we can create within ourselves.

But they knew it was love, it one they could understand.
He was showing his love, and that's how he hurt his hands.
~Nickel Creek

I don't really care about my stupid teeth now.

glory, weight, and the music of it all

2007-10-12T12:12:00.001-04:00

Joni Mitchell always puts me in a certain mood.
It's a strange mood; one that reminds me of the summer of 2005, of Cambridge and the beach and mistakes and novelty. Her music brings with it a kind of ache that is hard and knocks the wind out of me.
I have to remind myself that there is more to music than one time. There is history, but there is also history to be made. I can love a musician or a song, but not necessarily have to relive previous times.
I associate both pleasant and unpleasant memories with music. The common thread of these music associated memories is always strength .
Sometimes they hit me like a cool wave. Like a wind that smells of a cold morning.
And sometimes they hit me with the force of a too-strong drink. With the weight of a slippery river rock.

Music used to hit me all the time. My emotions seemed almost at the mercy of songs. I don't miss being so affected all the time...I wonder if it's still possible. It feels like it's been a long time since a song has brought me to tears; a long time since I wanted to play it over and over, sing it at the top of my lungs, yell it, make it my anthem or credo. I miss that connection. I don't want to chalk it up to young adult angst.

I don't want to be unnmoved; and I mean this in terms of more than music. I want life to move me. I want to cry and laugh at movies and conversation and wake up breathless and roll in the grass and stare at the sun too long.

"and please remember me, my misery
and how it lost me all i wanted
those dogs that love the rain, and chasin' trains
the colored birds above there runnin'
in circles round the well, and where it spells
on the wall behind St. Peter
so bright on cinder gray in spray paint:
“who the hell can see forever?” "

Sabbath-ing

2007-10-09T11:17:00.000-04:00

I started into this blog thing all gung-ho and such and then real life set in and I was a bad blogger. Forgive me.

Now it's Reading Week (aka Fall Break) and I have no excuses. Just precious time and space. Most people went somewhere for the week: home, vacation, etc. But alas, Travis doesn't have a break and even if he did, we'd still be broke and traveling costs money. So, I'm having myself a nice Durham fall break, which is nice. Yesterday was my home day; I knew there was cleaning that needed to be done, so I made myself do it first thing. 5 sinkfuls of dishes, one bleached and mopped kitchen floor, 3 loads of laundy, and one vacuumed house later, I am done. One plus: since it was home day, I feel no guilt about not showering and staying in a t-shirt and soccer shorts all day.

Sunday night, we went out to dinner with some people from church. It was our 3rd Sunday at Emmaus Way, and I finally feel like I'm starting to know people, at least surface-level know, which is how it begins. It was a small group, which was good for conversation, and included a missionary couple who was in town for the weekend. Steve and Amy were around a couple of years ago when the church was starting up, but have been in South Africa for about 2 years now, working with an organization called ServLife. They work with orphans and neglected children and help women start up their own businesses. Listening to their stories, I realized how little I really knew about the country of South Africa and its history. I mean, I know about apartheid and Nelson Mandela and how the country is portrayed in the Poisonwood Bible, but that's where my knowledge ends. Over dinner, they graciously answered our questions and told us about their life there.

And now it's Wednesday and I am stuck in the rut that I get when I have too much time on my hands. It's not that I don't have many options. There's the schoolwork that I'm supposed to get done, there's the million little things at the house that I've been meaning to get to, I could get my butt to the gym...the list goes on. Then there's the attractive possibilities: thrift stores, walking in the park with the pup, reading (NOT for school), watching movies that Trav doesn't want to, spending ridiculous amounts of time at the coffeeshop, etc. Most of the things that I associate with relaxing involve money and I need to separate these. Things like getting a manicure, going shopping for clothes or house things, going to the movies or out to dinner. I need to see true relaxation as just that: time and space to let go. Yes, I might always enjoy indulging in things like a good haircut or new outfit, but those shouldn't be the things I turn to when I need to unwind. For one, we don't have the money to spend on extras, and two, if I learn to rely on things or places to unwind, what does that say about my attachment to material things. It's no coincidence that the book that I have to read over break is called by Abraham Joshua Heschel a Jewish (ahaha, clearly) scholar. I'm only a few pages in, but we've been studying the concept of Sabbath in most all my classes and so my mind is already on the subject. Our Spiritual Formation retreat that I posted about a couple of weeks ago was centered on this idea too. I think it's really amazing that the idea and practice of Sabbath is at the center of the curriculum and life in my first semester at Duke Divinity. It seems to be something that is taken quite seriously by the faculty and, at least attempted by, the students.
I think the most significant thing I've learned about Sabbath thus far is that it is a command of God; it is not a suggestion; it is not a thing to do when we feel like it or when we have time; it is a must, like honoring one's parents or giving to the poor. Why have we let it slide? Why isn't it more important in churches? How have the Jewish people managed to remain faithful to the Sabbath, but Christians haven't? Obviously, I know there are many answers to all of these questions; just thought I'd share some of the things running about in my mind.

There is so much about my life here, in Durham, at Duke, about the first year of marriage, that I want to write about. Honestly, I don't know where to start. But I am thinking and processing. Maybe I'll be inspired soon. Maybe actually taking a Sabbath will release the floodgates. Watch out crazy internet world, watch out :)

Oh Etsy...

2007-09-24T11:22:00.000-04:00

My current obsession is Etsy. It's fabulous and if you've never checked it out ,DO it! Mind you, only if you're willing to give up lots of time looking at all the amazing things and money to buy those said things.

I'm in Broad Street Cafe, where I usually am on Monday mornings. I come here to try and get some work done, but today has not been so successful. Last week, I somehow managed to knock out a paper before noon, but today's time has been eaten away by music, checking email and the black hole that is Facebook. Don't get me wrong, I love knowing about my friends' and classmates' personal life in a pseudo-stalkerish way, but I think I might need to limit my Facebook involvement. It creeps me out how much I care about what is going on in that world.

I'll leave you with a few things that I desperately want from Etsy right now:

Even though our guest speaker is Scottish...

2007-09-21T12:07:00.000-04:00

I am in class and supposed to be paying attention, but alas, I am not. By Friday, I am so saturated with information and have given so much rapt attention, that I cannot even pretend to be a good student.
This weekend is my Spiritual Formation retreat in Chapel Hill. Apparently, the whole retreat is supposed to be silent: no cell phones, no computers, no Ipods, no schoolwork, no talking. I can deal (obviously) with the no schoolwork and technology rules, but I think it will be quite difficult to refrain from speaking. I know that the point is to silence our selves and the world and to focus wholly on God. I know that I need this. It’s just that there are really only two things that can result from that kind of silence; either you rest or you wrestle. I crave rest. I want to rest in God’s goodness and blessing and attempt to calm my soul in the midst of this busy new life. What I fear is that God will take this time to reveal something in me or to me. It’s not that I don’t want to listen to God and to know His heart; I would just really like to rest. Perhaps this is selfish. I just feel as if this has been a season of revelation, and I need some processing time.

Travis began his new job this week at the North Carolina Center for Death Penalty Litigation. It’s quite random that this job just fell into his lap. But then again, was it really random? I mean, what a unique experience. I have to say, I’m a little jealous. Here I am, going to school to eventually work at a place like that, and Travis already is. I am excited to hear the stories that he will come home with and to be challenged by this process and how God’s justice is working.

Well, it’s come to that time again; I want more tattoos! Well, I at least want to add something to the heart on my right forearm. I got the outline with the intention that I would add something soon after, but that was a year and a half ago and it remains just an outline. Ideally, I would love to add text in or around it, but I don’t know if it will work because it’s pretty small.

I also feel like I am in the mood for all new clothes. I don’t feel particularly attached to any of the things I own. Of course, that requires money, which I don’t have. So I want to buy pieces slowly. I am torn between my various tastes and styles. Some days I feel like dressing classically, RL oxford or polo, nice jeans or khakis, you know, J. Crew and such. Other days I love the trendy look: drapey shirts and chunky jewelry and loud patterns. Basically, I don’t know what to invest in. I was watching the Today show this morning and they had a segment on the particular pieces that every woman should shell out the big bucks for bc they never go out of style. They chose a nice brown leather bag, a tailored blazer, fitted designer jeans, a classy cardigan and charcoal gray trousers. I loved all the pieces they chose, so I think I’m going to take their advice. Several of the things were from J. Crew and Banana Republic, two of my favorites. Bahhhh, I'm such a girl.

Got to go pretend to pay attention.
Peace.

The end is like the beginning

2007-09-19T14:15:00.000-04:00

So yet again, I begin. Blogs and I have an on-again, off-again relationship. I want to be faithful to writing. I want to write thoughtful, witty posts. But I also want to try to get two masters degrees in 4 years. We'll see if either of these two goals actually happen.
It's mid-September and I am in the fourth (i think?) week of my first year of divinity school at Duke. If anyone is unfamiliar with div school, it's helpful to know that my husband, Travis, calls it Jesus Academy. It's where you go to learn how/why to do ministry. Or to read and write about it, at least. Most people there want to pastor a church. I don't because a) that scares me and b) I think I'm supposed to do something else. Don't ask me what that something else is, cause I sure as hell don't know. My hope is that I'll be accepted to a dual-degree program that includes two years at Duke (for a Masters of Divinity) and then two years at UNC-Chapel Hill (for a Masters of Social Work). At the end of four years, I'll either be dead, or be equipped to serve as a counselor, at a non-profit, etc.
One of the best parts of going to Duke is living in North Carolina. Seriously, it makes every day so much better. The greenery, the weather, the way people here care about recycling, the way that it doesn't take 6 hours to get out of the state: all wonderful. Living in a house also really rocks. It's quiet and cozy and I don't have to climb any stairs with groceries and we have a backyard. Simply amazing. I want to start a garden it the backyard. Just some flowers, herbs and things that can survive no matter what. You know, to boost my gardening confidence a little bit. We'd like to put a grill and some patio furniture on the deck, but to buy any of those things would mean not eating or paying rent. Alas.

I want community. For some reason, I had this picture in my head that we would move here and automatically have close friends and we would hang out at each other's places all the time and go to flea markets and on roadtrips. While I've met some really cool people, even clicked with a few, I don't feel like we get to see each other, or really have even gotten to know each other better. I want to foster that community, but I don't know what the next natural step is. I know that I can't create community by my own actions, but I want to be proactive. I feel like Travis and I have alot to offer. I know that sounds funny, but we do! We'd love to have people to pour into and to be challenged by. And we have a great house for hanging out, a fun dog and great tastes in music, movies, books, food :)
So potential friends, step right up.

I like my classes. But writing papers still sucks. My scottie dog is napping and I want to join her. Booooo.